Kenny G Without The Horns

Most people know who Kenny G is, right? He's this famous musician that most folks I know enjoy making fun of. He's known for his instrumental pieces where he is featured on a soprano sax. Okay, just checking.

I work as a producer in local advertising. Sometimes, as I'm sure is the case in most lines of work, the clients can just drive you crazy. Although "the customer is always right" isn't exactly true, it is true that "the customer always gets his way". But sometimes it sure is hard to keep a sense of professionalism about you as the client looks you right in the eye and with a completely straight face requests something utterly ridiculous.

Several years ago, I once edited a car spot together for an agent that had a reputation for being hard to please. I added music to the spot that I thought worked well. He then told me he had something different mind: something a little laid back, but not too laid back (???), something kind of like --you guessed it-- "Kenny G...but without the horns."

I was speechless. How the heck do you get THAT? You take Kenny G's horns away and you've got NOTHING.

This incident has now gone down in company Legend. Whenever someone asks for something crazy or impossible, we refer to these clients as wanting "Kenny G without the horns." Last year, though, was an example SO classic it almost won the title:

I had finished a spot with a political candidate's advertising consultant. After we had it done, the campaign manager walks in and watches it. We can tell he wasn't entirely happy, so we braced for his complaint. He opened his mouth and said, with complete sincerity:

"I know we want to grab people's attention, but that red text just screams 'Look at me!'"

...[sigh]...